During my last breakup, I was constantly crying.

In the bathroom at work.
In my car.
Late at night.
In my favorite restaurants that reminded me of him.

I felt broken to my core. Like there was a hole inside me.

This was the breakup where I got rejected, he chose someone else. And I genuinely didn’t know if I would ever find love again.

I didn’t even know if I was capable of being loved the way I wanted.

Today?

I’m in a completely different place.

I’m with my dream partner…the most amazing man in the world.
But more importantly?

...I’m deeply in love with myself.

I know my worth.
I don’t settle.
I don’t abandon myself.

Because I’m not the same woman I used to be.

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The Rock Bottom

To be honest, this is what those first few months looked like:

I was a mess.

I replayed conversations over and over.
I missed him constantly.
I tried to “figure it out” so I could fix it.

But deep down, I knew: This wasn’t just about him leaving.

It was about the fact that I didn’t have the self-worth to choose myself.

I felt lost.
Insecure.
Like something was wrong with me.

Related Read: If you’ve ever felt this way, you’ll relate to this:👉 7 Signs You Stayed Too Long (And It’s Still Affecting You)

The Messy Middle

I wish I could tell you I followed a perfect plan.

I didn’t.

It was messy.

I had good days… and really hard ones.
I made progress… then found more grief to process.

But there were a few things that actually worked.

What Actually Helped Me:

✨Journaling and Self-Reflection

I got brutally honest with myself.

• Who did I become in those relationships?
• What parts of me did I abandon?
• What did I actually believe about myself?

I uncovered deep patterns.

And I finally saw: Why I kept attracting the same kind of love.

✨I Cut Off Contact

This was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

But also the most important.

I couldn’t heal while still holding onto him.

🩷Because of my sensitive nature, my personality, my attachment style and abandonment wounds, no-contact after breakups were some of the hardest moments of my life. So just know, if this is you, you are so brave for cutting contact. And trust me, it is truly the best thing for you, and one day you will look back and be so happy you did this for your healing, for the love that is coming to you, for your dream man, and for your freedom.

✨I Started Having Solo Dance Parties

At first, being alone felt unbearable.

So I started doing something small:

I danced.

In my living room.
By myself.

And slowly...I became someone I actually enjoyed being. I started feeling amazing. I still do this now and it's the best thing in the entire world.

✨I Rebuilt My Self-Concept Day In And Out

This changed everything.

I realized my identity was tied to being chosen and getting validation and external love.

So I rewrote it.

• “I’m not enough” → “I am deeply worthy, I was born this way, how could I not be”
• “I’m unlovable” → “I'm amazing and easy to love”

Then I reinforced it daily.

✨I Became Her Before I Felt Ready

I didn’t wait to feel confident.

I showed up as her first.

And eventually…I became her.

Related Read:👉 The Real Reason You Keep Attracting Emotionally Unavailable Men (Hint: It’s Not Bad Luck)

The Shift

There wasn’t a single moment where I fully transformed. It happened overtime, with consistent inner work.

But one day, I realized:

I wasn’t obsessed anymore.
I wasn’t questioning myself anymore. I felt… free.

Not because I found someone new.

But because I found myself.

Meeting Him

By the time I met my now-partner (it brings a smile to my face just writing that thinking of him)...

I was already whole.

I didn’t need a relationship.

...I wanted one.

And that changed everything.

He was:

• consistent
• emotionally available
• intentional

But the most important part? I was finally ready to receive that kind of love.

What Actually Made the Difference

This wasn’t about one thing.

It was about consistent inner work.

What changed everything:

🩷Deep self-concept work. Identifying the beliefs I had about myself, understanding they came from somewhere outside me, letting them go and putting new ones in.

🩷Choosing myself daily. Solo dates, keeping promises to myself were huge for my growth. Small actions every day that showed my subconscious I was worthy.

🩷Reclaiming my voice. Separating what others said about me from what was actually true about me and the love I could have in this life. 

🩷Embodying my future self Being the woman I wanted to become as much as possible. Making decisions she would make. Communicating and moving through the world the way she would.

🩷Not rushing the process. I gave myself time and space to heal, to rebuild, to become. I trusted the timeline.

The Structure I Wish I'd Had

Looking back, there was a clear path:

Release → Rebuild → Rise

• Let go of the past
• Rebuild your identity
• Step into your power

Which is what I teach in Becoming Her After Heartbreak: 30-Day Identity Rebuild. I created this so you don't have to figure it out the messy way like I did. You have a clear roadmap. Click here if you're ready to start your 30-Day transformation.

Before You Move On… Read This

If you’re stuck between:

🩷 missing them
🩷 and trying to move forward

You need clarity.

Not more overthinking.

What I Wish Someone Had Told Me

You’re not broken.

You just lost yourself.

And you’re about to meet a version of you that is:

🩷stronger
🩷 more grounded
🩷 more magnetic than ever

This isn’t the end. It’s the beginning of your best chapter.

You just have to trust that on the other side of this pain, there's a version of you who's so solid, so grounded, so free and at peace.